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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27137483">Sorrow That You Keep</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachGlitch/pseuds/PeachGlitch'>PeachGlitch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Depression, F/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:36:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,448</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27137483</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachGlitch/pseuds/PeachGlitch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Éowyn contemplates why she feels more like an ice maiden than the Lady of Ithilien.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Éowyn/Faramir (Son of Denethor II)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sorrow That You Keep</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The calming sound of her son’s sleeping breaths soothed Éowyn‘s troubled mind. He was already six months old, and she could tell he would be the spitting image of his father when he was older. Though he had her shade of blue in his eyes; reminding her that he was also a part of her.</p><p>It was strange to remember her life before the birth of Elboron. It was like a distant memory, before she grew up from being a petulant girl with dreams of fighting alongside great armies. Some still referred to her as the witch-king slayer; though she doubted anyone saw her as the shield maiden she’d been once. If she was honest with herself, she didn’t either. After marrying Faramir, those aspirations she’d once had dwindled away into nothingness. Ironically after swearing never to be stuck in a cage, she’d somehow managed to make her own trap. It was a dreadful thing to think of her life as such, she knew. Éowyn felt guilty whenever her mind wandered into the dangerous territory of feeling sorry for herself. Her melancholy however was not something she could control. And while she was overjoyed to have this new life ahead of her, she also couldn’t all together not think about the minuscule regret she felt for not carrying on her path as a warrior. Nor banish the demons of her past away.</p><p>Faramir loved her more than anyone ever had. He was kind, gentle and thoughtful; and never once raised his voice or grew frustrated with her at her often stony demeanour. His patience was more than she deserved, especially when her coldness turned into indignation as it had done earlier that day. Many men would of lashed out at her for speaking so cruelly. For mocking and taunting them; but not Faramir. Instead he’d reached forward for her hands and brought her knuckles up to kiss them softly. “Why are you so troubled, Éowyn?” He had asked, leaving her dumbfounded; because there was no simple answer.</p><p>So Éowyn had done what she always did when confronted. She had run away; finding refuge in Elboron’s chambers. Knowing that Faramir would never follow her or demand answers while she took refuge in this part of the castle.</p><p>Sitting next to the crib, Éowyn tried to shake away any memories of her past from her mind. Some days it was easy, today was not one of those days. She kept seeing flashes of darkness and a putrid stench that made her want to vomit. A snake like voice penetrated here mind, as it had done when she was younger. “<em>But you are alone.”</em> It said, making her tremble, even though it was just in her head.</p><p>Grima Wormtongue had haunted her steps for years before making a bargain with Sauron. She could always feel his beady eyes on her form. Even if he was not always visibly there, she knew he was always lurking within the shadows. His perverse nature only heightend once he had used dark magick to render her uncle helpless. He grew more bold and less discreet. Sometimes he would even blatantly follow her around the castle, ignoring the angry glares she cast over her shoulder at him as she hurried away.</p><p>There was no use locking her chamber door, no use trying to escape his obsession with her; he always found a way to slither closer and closer.</p><p>Éowyn grimaced as she recalled a partically close call when he’d trapped her in an empty corridor once. He was enraged about something. She could feel his anger radiating off of him, mixed with something she assumed was lust. She knew he wanted her body; but that day she had thought he would take it by force. He was even brazen enough to grab her bicep and pin her against the wall. Until a few servants had rounded the corridor and stopped whatever was about to happen from happening.</p><p>From that day on Éowyn became more guarded and careful when she was alone. Until Aragon had arrived and saved her from a fate she’d rather not think about. She shuddered at the idea of being owned by Grima; which undoubtedly would of been the outcome had they not won the war. Some twisted bargain he’d made; and she was the prize, or so she’d heard.</p><p>“Éowyn.” A familiar sounding voice tore through her dwelling. Éowyn sighed heavily, ignoring the sound and focusing her attention on the sleeping baby in his crib.</p><p>“My dearest, please.” Faramir spoke again from the doorway. “I beg of you to speak to me. We can’t go on like this.”</p><p>Éowyn shrugged her shoulders. “What is it that you wish me to say?” She asked in a measured tone, not once looking away from the crib. “I have told you my secrets tenfold. I don’t wish to discuss them again, and even if I did, you could not help me.” It was cruel, but she couldn’t bare to suffer his kindness.</p><p>“I’m going to come closer to you.” Faramir informed her, knowing how she hated to be startled. It irked her further that he was so considerate.</p><p>“Do what you want, but don’t expect a different response.” Éowyn hissed as the sound of his boots against the stone floor alerted her of his movements.</p><p>He kneeled in front of where she was sitting, but still she refused to even spare him a glance.</p><p>“Éowyn do you remember what I said to you that day after you had recovered from your injuries and the black breath?” He asked, placing his hand over her knee.</p><p>“What does that have to do with anything?” She bit back. Fighting back tears, as she thought of the day he was speaking of.</p><p>“I said that I don’t believe this darkness will endure.” He went on undeterred by her indifference. “I was not only speaking of the climate, I was speaking about you.”</p><p>Éowyn closed her eyes for a moment, a lone tear trailing down her cheek. “I know what you meant back then.” She whispered softly. “But I’m afraid that your faith in me was misplaced.” She confessed, feeling utterly worthless. Back then she had hoped the coldness that filled her veins would disappear over time. That she would be happy again, but as the years passed, she only grew colder and more withdrawn.</p><p>Opening her eyes again, Éowyn found herself finally looking at her husband as he knelt before her. “I must be a great disappointment to you.” She said, raising one of her hands from her lap so she could wipe away the tear on her cheek.</p><p>Faramir looked genuinely upset by her comment. Without a word he lifted his hand to cup her cheek, “that would be impossible.” He insisted as the pad of his thumb traced the skin over her cheekbone. “You’re the most remarkable person I know. You’re a survivor, and you always will be.”</p><p>“What use is surviving if I walk around as if I’m a ghost?” She asked, leaning into his touch. “I want to be content, I thought after having our son I would be but...but I still see darkness when I close my eyes. And I feel, I feel nothing.”</p><p>“You do <em>feel</em> Éowyn, more so than the average person. Perhaps that is why you are so guarded with your emotions. I see it when you hold our son, or when you smile at me when you think I’m not looking.”</p><p>“That’s different.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because I love you and Elboron.”</p><p>As soon as she spoke the words, Faramir’s face beamed at her. If she were younger she would blush at her sudden declaration. But they had been married a few years now, he knew she loved him. “Do you see? You feel <em>that</em>. And that is what matters. If you were this unfeeling creature that you think you are then even we would be excluded from your emotion.”</p><p>Despite herself, Éowyn managed a small smile. “I want to feel more.” She admitted, “I want to be myself again. I’m tired of the shadow that follows me.”</p><p>“And you shall, my love.” He said kindly. “Darkness always lingers, but the light will always persevere until it is found.”</p><p>“I don’t think I can find it alone.” Éowyn confessed, “I have tried to overcome it for so long.”</p><p>“That’s the thing.” Faramir said lovingly. “You aren’t alone and you never will be again.”</p><p>For the first time in a while, Éowyn felt hope deep within her. Then leaned down to meet Faramir’s lips with her own. “Your words are an elixir.” She whispered, after briefly pulling away, then kissed him again.</p>
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